Personality Conflicts can affect the workplace. A few tips on working through them.
Even the most laid-back workers can clash with other people. If you’re having a difficult time getting along with a co-worker, it’s your responsibility to work through it. Here are a few ways of going about it.
Don’t expect them to change. The biggest mistake people make in any relationship (not just between co-workers) is expecting the other person to change who they are or how they act. Particularly in a work environment, this is unlikely to happen—the person you don’t get along with sees YOU as the problem, not himself. The only behavior you can change is your own.
This means approaching the problem person differently. If he hates it when you dump trouble call tickets on his desk, ask how he’d like to receive them, and acquiesce. Don’t kowtow to a bully, but demonstrate a willingness to cooperate. You might just find him willing to change as well.
Pick your battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Turn the other cheek. Insert overused office cliché here. If you’re going to the mat over every single issue, you’re adding unnecessary tension to your relationship and your day. If you butt heads because he insists on each detail being done a certain way, go with it and move on. If, on the other hand, he his stealing ideas and presenting them as his own, it’s time to say something. Save your energy and attention for the real problems, and let the small ones go.
Agree to disagree. I learned this by watching the Muppet Show. No, really. That frog is smart.
Call in the big guns. Go to the boss only as a last resort. The last thing your manager needs is to mediate petty arguments. If your difficulties have escalated to harassment or bullying, it is necessary to bring the issue to your boss’s attention. Document each incident and set up a meeting with HR to go over the problem. If the issue is largely a personality conflict, try as best you can to leave management out of it. This way they understand that you’re capable of handling problems yourself, paving the way to career advancement.
Be the bigger person. Fish can choose not to bite. Even if a co-worker is baiting you, or deliberately pushing your buttons, it’s easier to simply ignore the problem. Like a bratty kid brother who desperately wants attention, he’ll turn his energy somewhere else as soon as you freeze him out.
These are a few ways to get started. Have a co-worker you just can’t get along with? Tell me about them in my discussion forum.
And remember: everyone is someone’s annoying co-worker. Even you.
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